Merry Christmas? Happy Holidays? How about “Happy Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays!”

I am sick of seeing all of this bullshit about how saying “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” might be offensive to somebody.

It seems every year we’re getting deeper into this so called “trigger bubble”. Don’t say anything that might trigger one another, even if it’s something common like Thanksgiving or Snow. Eventually we’re going to need to start staying silent near these asinine people – oh wait, silence may trigger someone. Just run away. Wait. That might trigger somebody too. Whoa there, sailor! Don’t say “trigger”. That might trigger victims of gun violence. By my studies and analysis of this so called “trigger”, by the year 2025, our very existence will trigger half of the population of our planet. I’m sure we’re already getting a good head start.

Now-a-days, one of the more triggering things that has been more controversial since the 1960s and onwards is the ongoing fact that some people in malls, stores, etc, prefer to say “Merry Christmas!” over “Happy Holidays!”. It seems to be some sort of echo chamber where nobody is happy. Some people (such as diptits who get offended by every little thing) think theres some sort of “oppression” going on by saying Merry Christmas – that is, you are oppressing those who aren’t Christian. How that makes any sense is anybody’s guess. Some people also say “Merry X-Mas!” which people also seem to take offense to. “You’re taking the Christ out of Christmas if you say ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Merry X-Mas!’”.

People are actually getting angry over this little nitpick. If you’re not sure what somebody celebrates, you should probably say “Happy Holidays”, right? Well, no. Apparently you’re supposed to say “Merry Christmas”. Nobody is happy with anything. People bitch at you for saying “Happy Holidays!” and others bitch at you for saying “Merry Christmas!” People who get upset over these little nitpicks really piss me off.

Yeah, “Political Correctness” is pretty much the new thing, I guess. We need a new P.C. term. Which is why I coined the name, “Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays”.

Now, whenever your friend bitches to you on Facebook that you should just say “Merry Christmas” because the majority of the United States is Christian, you can simply say to him: “I don’t say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas. I say, “Happy Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays”.”.

The same can be done for your social justice buddies (I use the term “buddies” loosely). Did somebody say to that poor Starkin, “Merry Christmas!”? Are they bitching about using “Happy Holidays” instead of the somehow oppressive way of Christianity? Just say: “Happy Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays!”.

Some people find Christmas offensive. Likewise, some people also find Kwanza or Hanukkah offensive. You too can use the same thing against these morons, by simply saying: “Happy Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays”.

It’s time to start using this little nifty term for those who had their entire day ruined because they saw a Mall Santa at Macy’s the other day. You don’t need to thank me.

So, to end this post off, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or if you are offended by either of those two (or both), Happy Shut The Fuck Up And Just Enjoy The God Damn Holidays!